My step-dad has this uncanny ability to answer any question I put to him — well, almost any question. The exception this time is this: why are guys intimidated by well-dressed girls?
Now at this point in time, I am not at all well-dressed. You can’t see me but I’ll add to your mental image and inform you that I am currently wearing an old soccer shirt and running shorts; plus, I have my greasy hair tied up in a ponytail and hidden underneath an old baseball cap. Needless to say, this is not my usual appearance. If I hadn’t been running around at my nanny job today, I wouldn’t be wearing this. If I had gone out in public, even just to the grocery store, I would’ve at least put on make-up and upgraded to jean shorts and a nice t-shirt. And if I had gone to school? Heck, I would’ve curled the ends of my hair and wore a cute patterned cardigan over that t-shirt with a cute pair of ballet flats for added interest. Or church? I’d be in a dress and heels before you could even say “amen.”
All this to say that more boys would probably approach me in the getup I’m sporting now than all dolled up going to school (I’m assuming that no one would dare try to hit on me during church, which I feel is a safe assumption). But why?? Why aren’t they attracted to someone who cares about themselves and has high self-esteem?
I realize that some guys prefer the low self-esteem thing so they can use it to their own advantage (jerks :P) but guys who are worth knowing should care about that sort of thing, right? Someone who dresses nice gives off the impression that they know what they are doing with their life or are at least trying to figure it out; it seems like they are confident in who they are and who they want to be; it implies that they respect themselves by putting forth that effort for themselves and they respect others around them who have to look at them. Why isn’t that attractive?
I can honestly say that I’m more attracted to guys who dress better. I know we aren’t supposed to judge a book by it’s cover but just because we aren’t supposed doesn’t mean that we don’t all do it anyway. And a well-dressed guys gives off a first impression that he is confident in the way he looks and he has pride in that. He may know where his life is headed or he may not, but he sure is going to make sure that he dresses the part. When most of us have no idea the journey ahead of us, isn’t it inspiring to see someone who does? In addition to that, it’s invigorating to see someone else dressed nice because you know they respect people. The people that they interact with during the day have to look at them and they have put forth effort to make sure that the others enjoy what they see. There’s visual enjoyment by all. There’s an aura of confidence that I find contagious. And no one can argue that it doesn’t feel fabulous to know that you look good. Although I’m attracted to guys who dress well, they are few and far between. So are well-dressed girls, for that matter.
As I’m writing this, I know that not every guy feels confident enough to pursue a girl with that much confidence or direction because they feel like they can’t measure up and any guy who can’t be man enough to ask isn’t worth my time. The odds aren’t exactly in my favor. However, I’m not impressed with what I see. That disappointment spurred this post.
If there are any guys reading this at all, please just be man enough to ask. Or at the very least, you should give us confident girls a little credit. I’m tired of men not standing up and being men. The worst we can say is no and I’m sure your ego can handle that little two-letter word.
Two quotes to finish off this post:
“No one has ever asked an actor, ‘You’re playing a strong-minded man…’ We assume that men are strong-minded, or have opinions. But a strong-minded woman is a different animal.”
― Meryl Streep
“A strong woman builds her own world. She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the man she will gladly share it with.”
― Ellen J. Barrier*
*However true this may be, obviously I’m wrestling with this concept.