Glue the historical fragments together and see what comes out.

I came across another motion poem that I liked! There’s something delightfully childish in the video’s uneasy atmosphere. Hope you all enjoy it too.

You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone.

I’m officially done with my third week of finals.

I escaped with a B in organic chemistry, dark circles under my eyes, and an extreme addiction to dirty chai — but I made it.

Now I’m home.

A part of me wonders if it’s wrong to be feeling the way I do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying my break. But I don’t want to be home. Every time I return to find my family more assimilated into the life here, I am reminded how much I don’t belong here. I didn’t move here from my hometown. I moved away to college and this is the occasional pit stop when they close the dorms.

There’s something off when I arrive here. Part of me wonders if it’s me.

I get the customary hugs from everyone and the “I’m glad you’re home!” I get to surprise my little brother at his school jazz concert and I get to help my sister edit a paper for school. Then, when the dust settles from my arrival and I noticed that somehow the dust of this place has been shaken off my shoes already, I slip into my basement bedroom to unpack. In the space of an hour, I am forgotten.

I have been replaced by my ghost.

“Remember when Sydney would cook dinner for us because she had the sloppy joe recipe memorized?” I am cooking right now! I cry out, only to find that my voice has been drowned out by the sound of food lifted to mouths, teeth chomping down on the same sloppy joe they just referenced.

“Remember when Sydney would play outside with me? I just offered to play with you but you didn’t want to go outside because you said it was too cold! I remind him, but he’s too engrossed in the football game on TV to hear my voice.

“Remember when Sydney would help decorate for Christmas?” I would have, but I was at school because I had finals!” I excuse, but they can’t hear me over the carols playing on the radio.

My ghost and I inhabit the same house. This house is haunted to me.

How can I come back here and belong when there’s part of me that never came and belonged in the first place? How can I come back here and sit at the dining room table when they have become so accustomed to the paler, less-real, distant version of myself sitting in that very seat? How can I come back and belong when they don’t need my contribution to make the family function normally?

Maybe that’s just it.

Maybe I can’t.


How many is this now?

Another Beacon article. It’s all I’ve written these days.

Artist showcases the fruit of her labor
by Sydney Sheltz

Bethel College hosted an art gallery on Friday, November 21, 2014 in the Fine Arts Building in the Rotunda featuring the works of local artist Beth Mathes.

The gallery was open from 11 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. during the day and again at night from 5-7 p.m. Entitled “First Fruits,” the show was open to students and to the public.

Mathes showcased two main collections at the show: “Experience the Rescue” and the “RockWater.”

The title of the show was inspired by Mathes’ most recent work, also called “First Fruits.”

The idea for the piece came when Mathes was admiring a vineyard on a sunny day. A cluster of green grapes on a sun-warmed rock, the piece also has the signature Bible verse text etched into the rock.

Over 20 pieces were featured at the show. Although most were part of the three collections, some pieces, like “Reckless Abandon” and “Solitude,” were solitary works.

“Reckless Abandon” was inspired by news that a family member was diagnosed with cancer while “Solitude” is the picture of a woman walking on a beach.

According to the biography provided at the show, Mathes has a passion “to help people connect with one another and with God in real and unpretentious ways through artistic expression.”