The truly free man is the one who can turn down dinner without giving an excuse.

I realize more in one moment how much I have changed while away at college than in several days of introspection.

I can only spend so much time with my family and under the rules of my parents for so long before my patience is eaten away. I didn’t even realize how close I was to losing until I received another normal insult.

As much as I am dreading this upcoming semester, I’m happy to return to the dorm room that I call home for another four months. I never thought I’d see that day coming. I mean, everyone gets tired of their family now and again. But I didn’t actually think that I wouldn’t be able to handle my own.

Somehow the endless hours of studying are welcoming me back with open arms and the nights of little sleep and early mornings with hot coffee that I always, without fail, spill on myself seem okay to me. Is this what life has come to?

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family but I’m ready to be away from them too. That little part of me that used to be excited to see them is withering away. I’m sure I’ll be happy to see them when Spring Break rolls around. I just need a little bit of room to breathe at the moment.

I’m 19 but I’m still relieved that my mom doesn’t read this blog (although she knows about it, I think she forgot) because if she read this post, I’d die. These would be my last words.

That’s unfortunate.

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4 thoughts on “The truly free man is the one who can turn down dinner without giving an excuse.

  1. Aunt Bev says:

    I remember feeling this as well even 40 years later. You have established a new home, new friends, new routines, new preferences, everything new. It is normal and your mom would probably remember feeling the same way and wouldn’t want it any other way for you. Although some moms may think they want to keep their kids close to home, we also realize there is a time to let go and keep them close to their heart instead. To be honest, most parents at some point in time are ready for the kids to move out and become the independent, responsible adults they were raised to become.

  2. I think the hardest part is trying to reinvent my relationship with my younger siblings, especially since everyone has gotten used to my not being there. It’s a different dynamic and we keep reverting back to the way it used to be…needless to say, after almost 2 years of college, we are still trying to figure it out 🙂

  3. Aunt Kris says:

    Love you! Regarding the sibling relationships…that will come in time too as they continue to develop into their individual lives. Your mom and I get along much better now than we did in high school or college. In part because we can be ourselves and respect our differences without always having to be in agreement.

  4. I feel like everything comes “in time”. The hardest part is waiting for the “time” and recognizing when it comes. Plus, sometimes the hardest part of life is realizing all the change that comes with the passage of time and — even worse, seeing what you might’ve missed.

    Go back and look through the photos of the family reunion in AZ and see how old the kids are now! It’s crazy!

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