“For awhile” can’t be measured by the person who’s waiting.

Waiting is a verb.

It means you’re doing something.

Why then, do I always feel like I’m doing absolutely nothing when I’m waiting?

I’m usually distracting myself to keep from thinking about the thing that I’m waiting for. But even if I do a lot of minor things — like doing dishes or folding laundry or even posting on this blog — I always feel like those tasks are insignificant. I’m not sure how they are so meaningless since they make it on my to-do list every time.

At the moment though, I’m frustrated with the whole waiting process. I’ve grown up in a society that thrives on instant gratification and that may have a greater impact than I realized. But when trying to think of a society off the top of my head that does NOT struggle with patience, I can’t think of one! (I dare you to try and think of one…)

I have noticed that the struggle is worse when I’m not given a time frame to expect the answer. When I do know the approximate time, I experience more anticipation than anything else.

So is it anxiety that makes waiting so hard?

Not quite. There are several happy situations where I’m waiting and I get impatience and I’m not worried about the outcome at all.

So is it control? That may be more on point.

Do I have a hard time waiting because the outcome – whatever it may be – and the timing are completely out of my hands? And looking back on it, I can definitely see that being an issue. However, being in control is a personality trait of mine that has gotten me a lot of places and allowed me to take advantage of a lot of opportunities. I’m not sure that I want to totally rid myself of that drive.

On that note, I totally just remembered that I already have written about the idea of waiting before: https://sydneysheltz.wordpress.com/2014/07/23/patience-is-how-we-behave-when-we-are-waiting/

Wow. I should definitely work on that (see, that’s the drive I just mentioned!). But unfortunately, I don’t want to have to wait for the results.

Ah. There’s the problem.

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