I can never pass up an opportunity to quote Ms. Swift when I have the chance:
Words. How little they mean when they’re a little too late. Hopeful you’ll be and lonely you’ll wait.
Oh, the gloriously terrifying power of words. They seem to mean so much at one point until another word nullifies that original importance. Even then, sometimes all the words in the world wouldn’t be big enough Band-Aid to cover the wound that more words caused in the first place.
It’s amazing how easily a fight can drive a wedge between two people. And it’s even more amazing to think that, despite the fact that neither of them probably wanted the fight to begin with, both people involved took turns hammering in the wedge that drove them apart. Maybe that’s why relationships are so hard to begin with. No one wants to take responsibility for each of the mallet pounds they swung.
I know I don’t.
But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I won’t.
That’s the rough part about being an INTJ (here you go, Steve). I find that, more often than not, I can target the problem and then instigate the solution pretty quickly — if the only person is willing to enlighten me about the problem in the first place. However, the real problem comes when I initiating the plan to solve it and totally forget about the problem in the first place. I focus so much on performing the solution that I don’t really think about the need behind those actions. After all, why should I? The problem is no longer a problem as long as the solution is in place.
It doesn’t always work that way for other people though.
Hence the second reason that relationships of any kind are so hard.
Most people don’t understand. They can’t wrap their minds around the way that I remember so many things that they don’t bother to remember and yet forget about the things that they couldn’t possibly forget about. Could it be that I am not emotionally attached to those problems though? And that’s not to say that I wasn’t emotional when the problem was brought to my attention. What I am saying is that I’m not so keen on feeling that way continuously.
I’ve found that the hardest part of my relationships isn’t the fighting, but the moving on afterwards. I have an incredible rebound rate. I move on much quicker than the other person — even my roommate has brought that to my attention! I’m all happy with where the relationship is and where I stand with the other person, but more often than not, I’m stuck in this “no-man’s land” where I’m waiting on the other person to forgive me, or to become comfortable again, or to forget about the negative emotion associated with the fight.
If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you might have picked up on the fact that I’m not a patient person. So you can see why this “no-man’s land” is quite boring and I wish to leave as soon as possible. Stay in this funk long enough and I’ve found that you don’t really want to leave it. What’s the point? You’ve settled in and you don’t want to move. Change sucks.
Wow. The further I write in this post, the more apathetic I’ve become. I should quit while I’m ahead.