If you stay drunk on writing, then reality cannot destroy you.

In general, writers have to know and understand the human psyche on such an intimate level in order to properly construct a plot, introduce characters, and even dream of decent dialogue.

Writers know that some people feel like rays of summer sunshine, taste like cherry Popsicles, smell like vanilla candles, and flirt like a dusk-kissed sky. Writers know that other people feel like white marble floors, taste like black ink, smell like Wright’s All-Natural Liquid Hickory Smoke, and tease like Orion’s Belt shining through the broken ceiling of a Roman temple.  Writers know that still other people feel like silk trickling across your skin, taste like mountain spring water in March, smell like green tea leaves floating on surface tension, and skim through like the moon on a puddle.

That’s why Christmas is so emotionally draining for me.

I can sit in a room surrounded by my family and know exactly what they are feeling – because at some point, I felt it too.

Sister, I know that you spent over $200 on your boyfriend’s entire family only to spend a total of $47.59 on all 6 of us.  I know you did it because you think that your boyfriend’s family gets you and that they treat you better than we ever did and you want us to feel bad – as worthless as you felt.  I also know that every time one of us tries to explain that you don’t make us a priority, that you hurt us when you sleep through breakfast (and lunch and sometimes until we call you for dinner), that you make us feel friendless when you ignore our calls and our texts, that you pretend to be asleep when we go into your room and try to invite you for coffee – but when we try to explain all of that, you shut us down.  Somehow we can’t tell you how we feel, but you can instruct us in the correct way to communicate emotion.  I know that act, Sister.  I write it myself.

Brother, I know that you are 13 and selfish – not because you mean to be, but just because you simply forget to think about other people.  You don’t have mean intentions, but you don’t have any intentions at all.  You want distraction, entertainment, noise gobbling silence at every point in your life because you’re terrified of being bored and alone.  It’s hard to feel alone with light and voices from every virtual game you play.  I know that feeling, Brother.  I’ve written it before.

Sister, I recognize the pain in your words when you lash out and make fun of other people’s accomplishments; as soon as you make someone feel ashamed by what they’ve achieved, no one can hold it against you for not reaching that goal yourself.  Your mocking jokes reveal exactly how jealous you are of everyone else’s dreams – you’re terrified of being left behind in the rat race that our parents encourage us to run. I know how you feel, Sister.  I’ve lived that before.

And yet, it’s funny.  If I were to tell them all of this, they’d laugh and say I was making it up – because writers don’t understand.

And I’d smile back at them and shrug my shoulders.

Because I knew that’s exactly what they would say.

First crushes are like a flame. They start out soft as a candle but you always crash and burn in the end.

I’ve been home for less than 24 hours and I’m already leaving. It’s weird. Ever since my family moved, it seems like I can’t stay in the house for longer than a day. I’m always leaving, just to return again.

Or maybe the house is vomiting me out like a poison. I’m the drug that the house keeps welcoming in. It can enjoy my presence but it has to watch the dosage; therefore, it has to spit me back out into the world so it won’t keel over and die.

That’s a morbid thought the day before Thanksgiving.

I saw my little brother for the first time in a few months. I blink and the kid grows a few inches. When I arrived home yesterday evening, his first words to me were:

“Do you like my hair?” He buzzed it on the sides and has a mo-hawk in the center. Very “David Beckham-esque.” One decade under his belt and he already is so grown-up.

Not only that, but he’s got his first crush. A little blonde girl who plays the oboe and is shorter than him. She also plays lacrosse. I guess those are the requirements these days, although he also reassured me that she loved God. He even wrote down a list of 3 non-negotiable traits:

1) Christian
2) Athletic
3) Musical

He didn’t even compromise on the first crush. You gotta admit, the kid has standards.

He even said he has to learn to play the violin better so he can impress her when he plays. Ah, young love.

I may not be my brother’s keeper but I sure wish he would stop growing up so fast.


Sometimes having a brother is better than having a superhero.

This was the last time I was able to go out for coffee with my brother before I was headed to college. I don’t care what anyone says, he is definitely the best date I’ve ever had — although I do have to pay for his stuff 🙂 He always pays me back with hugs and sample bites. For example, this day he ordered a donut and was kind enough to split it with me.


I’ll miss him so much when I go back to school. His smile brightens my day more than coffee and his hugs are sweeter than any donut we could share. Cheesy? Sorta. But he’s my brother 🙂


There’s nothing I love more than my man and my dog.

Even on days when nothing very exciting happened, I’m always happy to come home to the cutest things in the world. My dog usually follows my stepdad around like a lost puppy (see what I did there? 😉 ) but recently she has gotten in the habit of sleeping at the foot of my bed. I don’t mind her there; I have a queen-size bed and she’s small enough that I don’t even notice when she hops up.

my man and maci

My little brother though is another matter entirely. I always know when he plops himself on my mattress. I was curling up next to my little man watching the BBC show “Merlin”. It’s one of the few shows out there that is appropriate for kids and he loves reenacting the sword-fighting scenes.

Put the two of them together and it’s a lethally cute combination 🙂


Make it a double!

Here’s my second post for the 100 Happy Days challenge — and today, it challenged me. My sister and brother lost to me in Risk today. But if world domination and a cup of tea aren’t your thing (please tell me you’ve seen that commercial!!), I’m sure we will be playing another game sometime soon.


Just to clarify, I would’ve perfectly happy playing with them even if I hadn’t won. Unfortunately for us, we are all quite competitive and it can be dangerous to play with us. Nevertheless, that doesn’t keep us from being one big happy family…most of the time 🙂


My 1st Happy Day

I’ve recently been blessed with a wonderful pen pal from New Zealand (I’m looking at you, Miss Janna 🙂 ) and I read on her blog of her experience with an organization called 100 Happy Days. I realize that I already answered some of her questions on a previous post of hers and now I’m stealing content from her again!

100 Happy Days (the link is below) is an organization that challenges you to post one picture a day of something that makes you happy. In a nutshell, the goal is to remind you of the little things in life and the many blessings that we are surrounded by every day. I adore this concept!

So this is day 1!


I’ve gotten into the habit of taking my brother out for coffee in the morning (I get coffee, he gets some sugary drink with more milk than any actual coffee but he enjoys it 🙂 ) and today was no exception. Since I go back to school soon, I’ve tried to treat him once a week. Today, we shared a muffin and he rattled on about the many concerns of a little boy; namely, wondering he made the travel baseball team and if we would be able to play outside after I was finished running some errands this afternoon. He is a little ball of energy but I can’t help but indulge him. And after all, isn’t that my duty as the older sister? 🙂 I will miss him so much when I leave for college in a few weeks but, at least for today, I was perfectly happy sitting across from him and teasing him about the crumbs on his face.