I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Dear Bill Woods,

When I asked you tentatively if I could sit in the chair next to you – the one by the window with a view brighter than my future – and if I could possibly intrude on the quiet in the corner, I wonder if you could see the tears cowering in my eyes.

When I sat down in that recliner quivering like a baby bird and death-gripping the coffee so strong that even your nose recoiled from 5 feet away, I wonder if you knew how close I was to shattering.

When you set down your book and glanced at me before you started that conversation, what did you know about that quiet, pretty girl that caught the attention of everyone in the room and yet, hid in the glare of the window?

Because, Mr. Bill Woods, you said exactly what I needed to hear. You smiled like my grandpa and you spoke like my professor.

Because, Mr. Bill Woods, I had reached that point.

You know the one, where you keep blinking because you don’t want to see.  And yet, you asked all the right questions.  You know the ones, where you nibble away until you reach the heart of the issue.

Because, Mr. Bill Woods, you were God in disguise.  You knew nothing about me and yet 10 minutes later, you were complimenting my intelligence and saying how proud you were of me.  You reminded me that this new job (as ghastly terrifying and unfulfilling as it may be) was a stepping stone.  You honestly were the source of encouragement that I needed today in order to respond to the recruiter.

Because, Mr. Bill Woods, I thought about ignoring that email.  I thought about lying to everyone and saying that the job offer had been cancelled, that the clinical trials had ended, that my emails were lost in cyberspace, that the recruiter was an alien and was sucked back into the Mothership, that my singular goal in life was to become a 50’s housewife complete with the red lipstick and pearls – I had so many excuses prepared to refuse that step entirely.

And yet here I am.

Thank God for all the Mr. Bill Woods’s in the world.

Sincerely,
Sydney

Letters are written using emotional syntax far more intimate and powerful than speech will allow.

Dear future husband,

It’s been awhile. Sorry about that. Things have been busy.

While part of me wants to excuse away my absence, I know that it is a bigger deal than I make it out to be. I need to be able to prioritize when I’m with you. I guess I’ll figure it out when it comes to that, though. It’s not something that I really need to be concerned with at this very moment. See! Prioritizing. I’m already practicing.

That’s one of the things I hope we can do for each other. Motivate each other. Stay updating in each other’s lives and be able to provide that support system for each other when we are feeling weak. I hope you will motivate me to keep up with my PT exercises. Maybe hide all the chocolate until I do them or something…just a thought.

I want to be able to hold your hand and support you. I know from this past semester and taking hard classes that sometimes life is just rough. There’s something incredibly sweet about gestures that recognize all the effort you’ve put into something. For example, after my orgo exam, it would’ve been amazing if something showed up with roses and chocolate because they knew they I had spent more hours studying for that exam than I had sleeping the 4 days prior to the exam. Oh wait. Someone did do that.

Take inspiration from that if you will. I hope that I will be able to find things that motivate you and reward you as much as the flower gesture did for me.

Plans change and for some weird reason, although humans have been able to adapt to climate change and other flukes of nature, we seem to react very poorly to change — despite the fact that plans are never set in stone! I hope that we don’t put too much importance on plans so that we don’t have our hopes dashed if they don’t come to fruition. That being said, I also hope that we can support each other when both of us have plans to accomplish goals…the more of these letters I write to you, the more I realize how much of a relationship is a total balancing act.

I just don’t want life to get in our way. Have you ever listened to the song “Broken Together” by Casting Crowns? There’s a line in the song that goes like this:

We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind

I don’t want to be so distracted with all the accomplishments and goals of life and forget about building a relationship. How painful it would be to struggle by yourself and know how hard those situations can be — and then turn around and forget that your best friend and spouse is struggling too! There should be no abandonment in a promise as strong as marriage.

I will make a promise to you right now. I promise that you will never have to go through life’s struggles alone and I will be by your side the whole time. We’re a team, love.

I can’t wait to play this crazy game of life with you, teammate.

All my love,

Your Future Wife

More than kisses, letters mingle souls.

My future husband,

I really want to hold your hand. When I took the love language test, I tied with two. One of my top love languages is physical touch and it means a lot just for someone to put their arm around me or wrap me in a hug. Unfortunately, I’m also very picky about who gives me hugs. But you? I’ll always accept a hug from you 🙂

I hope you’re a little taller than me so I can snuggle up against you and nuzzle my head into the side of your neck. I love the smell of cologne too, so I hope you don’t get too freaked out if I breathe a little heavily sometimes. I hope you hold my hand in public and drape your arm over my shoulders when we are walking somewhere. You don’t have to make it so over-the-top that it makes people gag, but I do hope you show me that you care in those subtle ways. I hope you kiss my forehead when I admit that I’m exhausted before you wrap your arms around me. I hope there will be moments when I make you laugh and you kiss my nose because you think I’m cute. I hope you don’t forget to send me those little reminders.

I hope that we can cuddle when I convince you to watch a Disney movie with me and that when we are watching your favorite kind of movie, I hope that you will hold me tighter when I get scared or jump. I will fall asleep on you though. I can promise you that I will fall asleep on you. I can fall asleep almost instantly and when I lay against you, the rhythm of your heart will lull me to sleep. I hope you don’t mind. I don’t think I snore. And I’m such a heavy sleeper that it won’t be a problem if you do 🙂

I was walking today and I just wanted a hand to hold and you popped into my head. Thanks for stopping by in my thoughts 🙂 I’m still praying for you.

All my love,
Your Future Wife

In every letter, in every line, she saw him.

Hello future husband,

I wonder if that’s how we will meet. A simple hello on the sidewalk, a passing glance before one of us opens our mouth to greet each other because there was “something”. I smile at everyone I pass so I’m sure I’ll send one your way. Maybe that’s why you say hi — because you like my smile 🙂 I’ll be sure to give you quite a few of those smiles when I realize you like them.

But maybe I already know you. Maybe I’ve already flashed you one of my endearing smiles and you were too stunned to say anything. There’s a possibility that you’re on this college campus and you’re a friend of mine. I’d guess though that I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you yet. I’d like to though.

I’m waiting eagerly to do so. I won’t come out and chase you though; you have to come to me. I may help you out in the beginning of our friendship, I might just suggest that we have coffee sometime. But you have to be the one to follow up on the idea.

I can peek through my window blinds of my dorm room and see the moon. I wonder if you’re looking at it too. It’s weird to think that you could be within a few miles of me and I don’t even realize it. At the same time, you could be on the other side of the world. Do you believe in soulmates? I don’t. I could happy with several people based on the level of settling I could do. I bet you could too. But I know you will wait for me. You don’t realize it yet but you are waiting for me to cross your path on the sidewalk just as I am. You could be in the building next door and I wouldn’t even know it. The fairytales would make it seem that I would be able to feel your presence if you were close by. Maybe I can. Maybe that tiny little smile that creeps on my lips at night when I feel contented is a result of you thinking of me. Does that little smile ever find you too? When I’m writing these letters, can you feel the thoughts I’m sending your way?

Probably not. You’ll probably think I’m stupid for suggesting such a thing. I’m probably nothing but a hopeless romantic in your eyes. But maybe, just maybe, you’ll understand where I’m coming from and return my smile with one of your own because that girl on the sidewalk who smiled for just a second, that girl with the happy face and curious eyes, that girl with a million thoughts and 10 fingers to type them all down was thinking about you.

I love you and I’m praying especially hard for you tonight because you are weighing so heavily on my mind.

Your future Wife