I seem to have run in a great circle and found myself at the finish line.

Let me tell the tale
of a girl who didn’t stop,
who climbed up every mountain
without a pause on the top.
She’d dance until each blade of grass
was clothed in drops of dew,
and the sun knew her by name –
but the silver moon did too.
For a fear had settled in her bones;
a fear of sitting still,
that if you’re not moving forward
it must mean you never will.
So in time her dance got slower
and she looked at all she’d seen,
but found gaps inside the places
that she’d never fully been.
For she was a human doing,
a human moving, human seeing,
but she’d never taken time
to simply be a human being.

~e.h.

 

Advertisements

Hello again, old stranger.

I looked in the mirror and saw someone there,
I was taken aback by her bold, steady stare.
She looked like how I thought I would,
And I didn’t know her but felt that I should.

She was different than yesterday and yet the same
The question lingered: what was her name?
The more that I looked, the more I knew
If I asked, she would say: “I am you.”

How many are there? I wondered again.
There had been so many I couldn’t retain
All of their faces and all of their tales;
I was lucky if I remembered a few details.

I blinked and she copied me at the same time.
Everything I did, she would instantly mime.
It’s funny to see your face and not see
That maybe this was who you’re meant to be.

But then again, maybe not and you’re not done
progressing because life’s crazy path has just begun.
You’ll keep seeing faces that don’t seem to belong
But one day you’ll know that you don’t have it wrong.

You will constantly change and surprise yourself
As you repeat old traits collecting dust on a shelf
or try out some new ones that don’t quite fit right.
Know that the reflection will always be bright.

Letters are written using emotional syntax far more intimate and powerful than speech will allow.

Dear future husband,

It’s been awhile. Sorry about that. Things have been busy.

While part of me wants to excuse away my absence, I know that it is a bigger deal than I make it out to be. I need to be able to prioritize when I’m with you. I guess I’ll figure it out when it comes to that, though. It’s not something that I really need to be concerned with at this very moment. See! Prioritizing. I’m already practicing.

That’s one of the things I hope we can do for each other. Motivate each other. Stay updating in each other’s lives and be able to provide that support system for each other when we are feeling weak. I hope you will motivate me to keep up with my PT exercises. Maybe hide all the chocolate until I do them or something…just a thought.

I want to be able to hold your hand and support you. I know from this past semester and taking hard classes that sometimes life is just rough. There’s something incredibly sweet about gestures that recognize all the effort you’ve put into something. For example, after my orgo exam, it would’ve been amazing if something showed up with roses and chocolate because they knew they I had spent more hours studying for that exam than I had sleeping the 4 days prior to the exam. Oh wait. Someone did do that.

Take inspiration from that if you will. I hope that I will be able to find things that motivate you and reward you as much as the flower gesture did for me.

Plans change and for some weird reason, although humans have been able to adapt to climate change and other flukes of nature, we seem to react very poorly to change — despite the fact that plans are never set in stone! I hope that we don’t put too much importance on plans so that we don’t have our hopes dashed if they don’t come to fruition. That being said, I also hope that we can support each other when both of us have plans to accomplish goals…the more of these letters I write to you, the more I realize how much of a relationship is a total balancing act.

I just don’t want life to get in our way. Have you ever listened to the song “Broken Together” by Casting Crowns? There’s a line in the song that goes like this:

We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind

I don’t want to be so distracted with all the accomplishments and goals of life and forget about building a relationship. How painful it would be to struggle by yourself and know how hard those situations can be — and then turn around and forget that your best friend and spouse is struggling too! There should be no abandonment in a promise as strong as marriage.

I will make a promise to you right now. I promise that you will never have to go through life’s struggles alone and I will be by your side the whole time. We’re a team, love.

I can’t wait to play this crazy game of life with you, teammate.

All my love,

Your Future Wife