Today felt like a Monday. It’s a Wednesday.
But it doesn’t matter. Everyone at work thought it was a Monday too — or at least they were acting like it. On days like this, after interactions with people like that, upon parking in front of an apartment that I barely call home, I always feel an incredibly motivation to make myself happy.
It’s an interesting concept, the elusive happiness that slips through our fingers like water. I thought this internship would make me happy because it would get me closer to my goal. I forgot that even though the top of the staircase can give you a view, that the individual steps can be a hassle.
So I’m doing my best to find my happy place. I tried gorging on gummy worms before I decided that healthy food would be better so I should eat apples and natural peanut butter. I tried blog binging — but this online society soon overwhelmed me and restrained myself from touching the keys for a little while (sorry about that). I tried reading one of my favorite books but I was so disappointed by the fact that I knew what was going to happen that I even ventured into a bookstore to get new literature. But my hopes were quickly dashed when all the books were boring or had the same plotlines or had me wondering how in the world they had gotten published in the first place. I buried myself in Netflix episodes and breathed in the musty smell of my unwashed teddy bear until I remembered that it’s July and my apartment is poorly air-conditioned — they say it is, but I sometimes doubt it.
So here I am, sitting on a couch with a overheating computer on my sweaty legs, halfway through the journey to happiness and wondering where I took that wrong turn.
And this was my conclusion:
I just want to breathe in a place with no expectations.
Isn’t it beautiful? I borrowed the image from another blog that I follow: Make Life Easier. Oh, the irony. Isn’t it funny how a single place can totally change your mindset? As a person who is thoroughly impacted my the location of certain events, my entire mood can change depending on where I am.
Someday, I will have a balcony like this. Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll just have a small coffee cup and a few herb plants on my back porch. Either way, it doesn’t matter so long as I can sit and breathe for a few minutes without worrying what my schedule has for the next hour.
And right now, I want to be there.